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Story shared: Mom's Eulogy

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 11:13:20 EST

Mom’s Eulogy Our family thanks you all for being here today with us as we celebrate the life of our beloved Mother, Clare Balcom Murphy. And Momma, please know that if love could have saved you, you would have lived forever................we already miss you, your wisdom and your sage words as we’ve just experienced our first Christmas without you – and I think during this time that your death is the first great sorrow in our lives that we have experienced without having you to share it with. It’s an extraordinary journey, to look back in retrospect on the life of our Mother as I try to put into words the sheer impact that she has had on the lives of her children. During the last week of our Mom’s life after we put her into hospice, we had the wonderful blessing of being with her as a family and surrounding her with tears, love and laughter. In fact, the greatest gift that our Mom gave us was the opportunity to hold vigil with her while she transitioned from this earth to her eternal home. And I will always treasure the time that we shared with Mom as a family during this special week; in her own way, Mom brought us together to cement the bonds of family and to show us its importance now that she was preparing to leave us. And, Mom was still running the show, even after we’d commenced hospice care. Hospice workers told us that the last sense to leave is the sense of hearing and that we should take the time to tell Mom that it was okay to go to be with her loved ones, and that, although we’d miss her terribly, we’d be okay. As her oldest living child, I sat by her bedside and talked gently to her when we commenced hospice, telling her that it was okay to leave us...........but, although Mom was in and out of consciousness during the past week, she wasn’t ready to have this discussion yet, and she told me in her barely audible voice, to “shut up, Janice”...................I had forgotten that this was Clare’s show, orchestrated and directed by her and she wasn’t yet ready for her curtain call. Mom had an incredible life and she lived through history that we now read about only in books as she and other members of her “greatest generation” are now leaving this world at a rapid pace. Mom graduated high school in 1944 and the young men in her graduating class had already been called to war in the European or Pacific theatres; in fact, the president of Mom’s graduating class was killed during World War II. While there were few young men present during her high school years, the women of her time gladly contributed to the war effort by standing in line for their precious stockings and for food rations. Her generation experienced the horrors of war and the sacrifices required by the great Depression in an uncomplaining and patient way; they always did the right thing, and their joys and life’s milestones were not measured by temporal things and possessions, but by the joys of family, friends, community and sharing. Knowing Mom has often made me think that while our society takes pride in the leaps and bounds of technology and material possessions that are now available beyond what was existing in our parents’ lives, I think that the last laugh is on our generation, as Mom and her contemporaries truly knew what mattered in life. Mom comported her life in a way where she did things just because they were the right thing to do. She was a woman of simple elegance, grace and dignity and she accepted life’s challenges without complaint. And she was a woman of great compassion. Mom’s father had a significant stroke during the latter part of his life, and neither Mom nor her Mother wanted to put Grandpa in a nursing home. So, Mom proceeded to be Grandpa’s caretaker, a role that she performed everyday for years, all while raising five children. Mom didn’t drive so every day she would walk 3 miles to our Grandparent’s home, pushing our youngest brother Brian in his carriage, early in the morning after she had gotten us off to school, so that she could take care of her father. And oftentimes, she also did the 3 mile walk back home again with our brother. She did this with love and without complaint, as again, she knew that this was the right thing to do. And I remember that our Dad took her to see the Broadway show “A Chorus Line” when it played in Boston many years ago; while Dad said that the show was wonderful, Mom couldn’t enjoy it as much as she would have liked to because of the tears she shed for the many homeless people she saw on a cold day living in the streets of Boston; this bothered Mom tremendously. Mom lived most of her life in physical pain, as she suffered from the ravages of severe rheumatoid arthritis that got progressively worse as she reached her later years. But she suffered her pain in her usual stoic fashion and oftentimes did not tell us how severe it was, as she didn’t want to be a “bother” to anyone. I am reminded that a philosopher once said that “it requires more courage to suffer than to die”; Mom possessed great courage, suffering as she did as she dealt with her pain and with her deteriorating physical condition with dignity and grace. Mom possessed great faith and she accepted the simple triumphs and tragedies of life in an unquestioning manner, sustained by her belief in God and her Roman Catholic faith. Mom was the central force around whom all of her children orbited during her 87 years on this earth. And the greatest love of her life was her family, our Dad and her five children. When I think of the greatest gift that Mom gave to her children, it was the gift of unconditional love; we were her’s and not a thing in this world could come between Mom and her children. There wasn’t anything that she wouldn’t do for us, whether it was giving us her wise counsel, lending money, listening to those things that only a Mom would have the patience to listen to or physically being there for her kids when we needed her. Mom provided us with a lifelong comfort and an uncompromising acceptance that made everything okay for us, no matter what challenges we faced. While life can prepare us for many things, nothing can prepare you for the death of your Mom – and no matter how old you are when your Mom passes, you are an orphan. As we brace ourselves for our lives henceforth we know that we will forever miss Mom and wish that she were still with us. But, I take comfort in knowing that I will always have her in my heart, and that Mom is not dead, she is just away. The great writer,Kahlil Gibran, once said, “When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight”. Momma, you are my delight, I will miss you terribly, but you will be forever in my heart, and to live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. Good night and rest in heavenly peace, Momma.

Story shared: A Wonderful Lady

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 02:24:17 EST

A lovely lady, both words being most operative,she was the dear and loving wife of my first and wonderful male teacher, Mr. Fran Murphy whom I had the good fortune of having in a large capacity from grades six through nine, McKinley to Revere High c.1953-1956. May she be at rest with him in God's peace through all eternity......Deepest condolences to all her family. Victor

Photo shared: Clare-M.-Murphy-Photo.jpg

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 17:43:20 EST

Condolence From larry,marilyn meuse

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 15:56:22 EST

Maureen, We're so sorry to hear about your mother.Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Larry,Marilyn and Christina

Condolence From Berardi

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 22:10:32 EST

So sorry Janice to hear about your Mother. It must be especially hard at this time of the year but know that we are thinking of and praying for you. Hope that all your good mother/daughter memories help you get through this difficult time. Love, Mary Ann, Bill, Kendra and Alyssa

Condolence From George H. Murphy, Esq.

Sun, 23 Dec 2012 19:24:18 EST

Aunt Clare was the last of the great generation. She will be sorely missed. She has been the matriac of the Murphy and Balcom familes ever since uncle Frank passed away. Aunt Clare was a great and loving sole who always kept me up to date about my cousins, both near and far away. May God have a special place for her. Love, nephew George Murphy and his wife Judy of Millbury, MA.